Sunday, February 23, 2014

if I cried tonight, what would it be about?

of the life we lead:
the love I could not seed
or the one I've put on hold?

of final conversations:
the words I successfully bleed
or the ones which rest untold?

of the people we meet:
those who were mild and sweet
or those who shook my world?

of the paths we miss:
the dreams they could well feed
or the ones I'd chase, fool's gold?

(shared with The Imaginary Garden)


(as you may well have noticed, I have problems rhyming but now and then I insist on trying)

14 comments:

  1. rhyme, ew. Just joking.

    the one put on hold.
    the words you successfully bleed,
    the ones you'd chase, fool's gold.

    Love you.

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    Replies
    1. It's a mystery to me where the strength to bear you comes from. lol

      Love you too. :*

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  2. This really resonated with me, love that second stanza.

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  3. of the people we meet:
    those who were mild and sweet
    or those who shook my world?

    How true! They come in various types and sizes and can sure influence us. It's a question of meeting their challenges and not to let them shake our world. Wonderful write Kernia!

    Hank

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  4. I think you have a wonderfully light touch with the rhymes of this poem. They seemed to lift the end of each line and impel the reader on to the next - it is very lyrical and introspective.

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  5. I agree with Kerry's comment...you use the rhyme and the inherent brevity to lead us through this work. It retains a lightness of approach that contrasts so with the content. A great dynamic if it can be done right, as it's done here. Very nice job.
    Steve K.

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  6. Beautifully written.

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  7. this is a wonderful write in all it's sweetness and regrets.. the sorrow of life can have the softness of black velvet.

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  8. I think this is wonderful. The near-rhymes are just as effective as precise rhymes, even more so because they convey accurate meaning. Well done, Kenia.

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  9. the sweet ones and the ones who rock your world... are all part of the mosaic of life...

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  10. I can't a favorite verse, each is strong. but those final conversations, the ones I have in my head... ~

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  11. I live the title. Seems like sometimes tears need to flow. These are all tender and worthy reasons.
    I truly enjoyed this read.

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  12. Very beautifully wistful.

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