The hurried people
stuck in morning traffic jams
fail to realize
the communal solitude
they share along with the path.
(shared with The Imaginary Garden. I swear you guys are the only people who make me write tanka. Counting syllables has to be the most painful activity ever for me! For my previous failed attempt, click here)
Very fine!
ReplyDeleteNOTHING makes me write tankas. Therefore, I bow in admiration to my betters.
ReplyDeleteI've read somewhere that in the ancient Japan, it was common practice for students of poetry to write sets of ten tanka on ten sets of subjects as practice and challenge. Laziness washes over me at the very thought of it! :S
DeleteI really like the contrast with the rush hour and loneliness... very nice.
ReplyDeletegood advice.
ReplyDeleteYou have certainly found meaning in the everyday life you portray. Counting syllables is very restricting but your style suits the tanka form, I think. You have that enviable ability to compress meaning into a few lines.
ReplyDeleteHas a feel of the kind of motto one should stitch up or do in calligraphy to mount on the wall. Tanka is not my most loved form, but doing form is a very useful exercise, and I can see this form assigned that way as you note in your response to Shay, because it forces you to weigh and pay attention to your words and thoughts. Nicely done, Kenia.
ReplyDeletewell put ~
ReplyDeleteSo true...
ReplyDeleteLovely tanka ~ each of us can relate.
ReplyDeleteYes, I love your way of thinking, Kenia...if only they could see it that way, too. Well done on the form, too!
ReplyDelete