an old coffee can
inside a cabinet in
the Euphrates Valley
when he found me,
a broken genie repeating
the Hereafter would be
better for me and
trying hard to believe it.
He told me it was okay
to take the lid off sometimes
and come up to the surface
to breathe.
Written for Magaly Guerrero's NaPoWriMo prompt over at the Imaginary Garden. I first thought I could write poetry after reading Turkish poet Orhan Veli Kanık's poem 'Dream' (you can read it here). Kanık is one of the founders of the Garip Movement, which broke with the conventional style of Turkish poetry and literature between the years 1945-1950 by using vernacular speech and surrealist elements in poems. The italicized line of the poem is a reference to Quran 93:1-4.
I like the pathos and extended metaphor in such a concise form. Meaty little morsel.
ReplyDeleteLovely. Thanks.
ReplyDelete(visiting from A-Z - www.storycrossings.com/blog)
Your first 4 lines took us from the prosaic to the profound and everything thereafter is a magical blend of surreal and man's most basic needs.
ReplyDeleteYour opening and closing lines - and every line in between - are perfection. Love the soul residing in a coffee can and coming up sometimes to breathe.
ReplyDeleteA broken genie... in a coffee can. A satisfied smile with the ending.
ReplyDeleteQuite a lot here in this miniature landscape. Excellent.
ReplyDeleteOoooh, I love your ending! You are so imaginative~
ReplyDeleteReally powerful, thank you. k. (Manicddaily)
ReplyDeleteWow! The talent and imagination you possess is awe inspiring. I love the whole piece, especially the way you ended it.
ReplyDeleteI love what you chose to represent the soul, Kenia!! So powerful this brevity!
ReplyDeleteI love the meeting of the mundane (coffee can in a cabinet) with the revered (the soul, the Quran).
ReplyDeletestellar. the line breaks in the last 4 are superb ~
ReplyDeleteI love this. And I like to think of poetry as the breath of the soul.
ReplyDelete