You are standing in a field looking at the stars

I have now renamed
the world around me
after you:
the alarm clock,
the toothbrush,
the stars in the sky at 5:30 a.m.
when I leave for work,
the clouds
(when they are there),
the sunrise,
the empty seat next to mine
on the bus,
the subway stations,
the trains,
every block I have to
walk back from work,
the trees I rush past,
the traffic lights, 
my keys,
the shower,
my own reflection
in the mirror,
the pillows,
the bedroom walls.

Soul and forward

We love who we can love, and the rest stay ghosts. 

- Marty McConnell

I think it's time to fix things.

There's a lot to be done around the world,
a lot to mend in nature and people,
especially in people I guess.

I thought we were all meant to
live cordially together -
men and wolves -
but when we meet,
given the grandeur in one another's eyes,
we don't know how to go about
the enchantment.

We break things, bones, hearts.
Later to ache humanly.

I followed your trail
into the forest
and learned you first
from the top of a tree
because you wouldn't
trust me near.

I think I wasn't ready
to love a creature
as callous and detached as you are,
but I did.

The years run through us,

I doubt I'll ever be able to race you.

But I see you slow down the pace

and walk by my side at times

and I'm honestly grateful.

You keep disappearing among the trees

whenever I try to touch you.
you would expect me to cry
but this time I promise not to.

Every so often 

you push me away
but when I am allowed close,
I think to myself that it's the
fathomless, perfect
quietude of your soul
what draws me to you.

I think I wasn't ready
to love a creature
as beautiful and free as you are.
But I did.
I do.

Image by Chiara Bautista

You might write me nightmares

watch me create my own world out of silence,

granted only half a minute of courage daily.

to love. to need. to hurt.

to forgive. to let go. to repeat.

watch me come back to you.

watch me respond to estrangement 

with proximity.
to mean my promises.

watch me dance around your fire.

it frightens me

you're suddenly so important.

it frightens me

you've already changed me.

it frightens me

you might write me nightmares.

Elephants

the ringling brothers is
ending their elephant acts
eighteen months ahead schedule.

we need to acknowledge it:
the elephant in our living room
doesn't go with the furniture.

maybe it's time to let him go.

The fourteenth

I've taken an important decision:
We're going to be friends,
this lifetime and I.

I promise you patience.

I promise I'll get old
one year at a time.

I promise I'll wait
for you.

Today's been dragging.
Today is the fourteenth day
into my vacations
and I've had a lot of work,
but I'm saving tears for a
rainy day.

Been thinking about my first house and
how much I'd like you to
have a key.

On days like these
to open the door
and scream your name
to know you there

to breathe my dreams upon your chest,
the sureness of being safe.