Disaster Preparedness

That the gentle hours
we spend together
they are preparation
for your absence.
That every time you
treat me to silence
you test me for endurance,
it never gets any easier.
This I remember:
your every laughter.
Because of you
my days are better.
This I forget:
that the gentle hours
we spend together
they are preparation
for your absence.

Losing hope

I lie about my scar.
Had I gotten it for being brave
rather than stupid,

had I repeated courage
a thousand times
instead of weakness.

We pretend to
read each other well.
He looks at me

once every six months.
I live a little. Die a little.
Lose words.

I replace pain with silence.
Respond separation
with unconditional love.

But my heart is so tired.

(I am so tired.)